Many men trapped in false cases look for sympathy, not solutions. They seek validation for their helplessness.
Real justice comes only when men stop complaining and start acting.
-By Shonee Kapoor
NEW DELHI: Over the years of working closely with thousands of men who are stuck in false criminal and matrimonial cases, one reality has become very clear to me. Most men who approach men’s rights platforms do not actually want advice. They say they want help, but deep inside, what they really want is sympathy.
When a man comes to me crying that his wife has filed a 498A case, a false rape allegation, or a domestic violence complaint, the natural reaction is to help him. I start explaining how to prepare a legal defence, how to collect documents, how to preserve evidence, and how to remain mentally strong during the legal battle. But the moment practical steps are explained, many of them lose interest.
The reason is simple. Taking action needs courage. And courage comes only when a person accepts the truth that no one is coming to rescue him. Not the police, not the courts, and not society.
Most men are mentally conditioned to believe that someone else will come and “fix” everything. They want to cry, complain, and feel light for a short time. But the moment they are told, “Now get up and file that counter,” they disappear.
I have seen this repeatedly in men’s rights meetings. A hall full of men sharing painful stories: wives taking away children, police harassment, public humiliation, and even abandonment by their own families. But when simple questions are asked like-
“Have you filed for child visitation? Have you written a letter to DCP? Have you applied for discharge?”
-there is complete silence.
That silence explains everything.
The truth is harsh but necessary to accept. You cannot save someone who does not want to be saved. You can only guide and empower those who are ready to take responsibility and act.
A strong example is the case of Sarabjeet Singh, who was once labelled by the media as “Delhi ka Darinda” after a false molestation allegation. Before any trial, he was declared guilty by public opinion. But instead of sitting and crying about media bias, he chose to fight. He collected CCTV footage, gathered eyewitness statements, and continued the legal fight until the truth came out. He did not wait for sympathy. He demanded justice.
Now compare this with hundreds of messages I receive every day saying:
“Sir, I’m ruined. My life is over.”
I provide them with clear legal steps — collect the FIR copy, file RTI applications, move petitions for quashing — and after weeks, they return without doing anything. Only new complaints about how unfair life is.
The difference is not the legal system. The difference is the mindset.
Yes, the legal system can be biased. But life itself is biased. Men who rise after false cases do not waste time discussing how unfair everything is. They focus on learning how to survive and move forward.
Men’s rights is not meant to be emotional counselling or a therapy session. It is not a place for sympathy gatherings. It is a movement based on legal awareness, mental strength, and smart action.
- We are not here to pat heads and say, “Bechara aadmi.”
- We are here to say, “Get up and fight smart.”
- Because sympathy does not win cases. Strategy does.
This reality is seen clearly in false POCSO, rape, and workplace harassment or POSH cases, where men are often accused without evidence. The Rohtak sisters case is a clear example. Two girls accused random men on a bus of molestation, and the media instantly portrayed them as heroes. Later, CCTV footage exposed the truth. But by that time, the accused men had already lost their dignity, jobs, and reputation.
If those men had just sat and cried about “what the system did,” their lives would never recover. Instead, they fought back. They gathered evidence, exposed lies, and cleared their names.
That is what real empowerment looks like.
I often advise young activists not to waste energy on people who only want to complain. The moment you realise someone is not willing to act, step back. Helplessness spreads quickly. It drains motivation and makes even strong people lose hope.
Focus instead on the few men who come prepared. The ones who take notes. The ones who arrive with documents. The ones who ask, “What’s next?” instead of “Why me?”
Those men deserve guidance. They are the real future of the men’s rights movement.
In men’s rights, the biggest change is not legal, but mental. It is the shift from “Why did this happen to me?” to “Now that it has, how do I fight back?”
The system may not always support you, but self-pity has never won any battle.
Men must stop waiting for sympathy — from society, from organisations, or even from activists like me. Sympathy makes people weak. Strategy makes people strong.
- The truth is very simple.
- You can’t help a man who only wants to talk.
- You can only help the one who wants to act.
The day men understand this, the men’s rights movement will not need rescuers anymore. It will create warriors.
Every Men Needs To Understand This
- Sympathy gives temporary comfort, but only legal action saves men from false cases.
- Men lose cases not because laws exist, but because they delay evidence, paperwork, and strategy.
- Courts respond to documents and timelines, not emotional suffering or social media outrage.
- False allegations cause damage the moment a man stops acting and starts only complaining.
- The men’s rights movement is about fighting smart, not seeking validation for helplessness.
FAQs
Innocent men lose mainly due to delay, fear, and inaction. Courts decide cases based on evidence and procedure, not emotions. Men who wait for sympathy weaken their own defence.
No. Sympathy has no legal value. It may give emotional comfort, but it does not stop arrest, trial, or conviction. Only timely legal action works.
He must collect FIR copies, preserve digital evidence, file RTIs, consult a competent lawyer, and initiate legal remedies without delay. Time lost cannot be recovered.
The laws are gender-biased, but not undefeatable. Men who understand procedure, evidence, and timelines still succeed in courts despite the bias.
The biggest mistake is talking endlessly about injustice instead of filing applications, petitions, and counter actions. Silence and delay destroy more lives than false allegations.